1.     I woke up and found where I had laid my head had made two creases that came together at what looked like a 60 degree angle and stopped each other. After 90 degrees the point begins to lose its pointedness to my mind, and by 160 degrees I can almost dismiss the tip, and sometimes, I don’t even have to turn away; I could live with it. But less than that, and definitely 60 degrees, and to be first thing in the morning on top of that, it is too much and it must be adapted to me, destroyed, hidden, (though this is problematic as when I am near I will still know it is there, lurking, hiding, hidden) best to eliminate the angle. I smoothed out the creased in the pillow quite easily. I lay on it again to make sure it would not return, and smoothed it out again, and then got up.

2.     This is really a process of course, and I know in this life I cannot always destroy an offending junction or angle, as not all is my property, and even where I live, I should suffer with some of it. It is the way things are constructed that attributes to it, and the way structure and tension creates strength, so I know I should often go against physics to be comfortable. In my mind, when I would venture out into the world, I will inscribe all shapes that attack me, inscribe with ever more angles pentagram increasing pints until the path across the direction changes is straighter and closer to a circular direction – I have don’t this often on several planes at once, with several surfaces and objects with my mind in any given space I am in. I will not hear anything, or see things as activities taking place. I will be making this place into a kind of wire frame rendering in my mind, and then taking at the junction points and smoothing them inscribe, chopping crudely, cutting, obscuring, averting my inner eye…

3.     I need certain things, and I need to live in a space, and as I said i am aware I am in a world where the physics are against me in this way. I got a place, it is a rooftop room, wide open, no inner walls between walls, just the four that keep the roof up. It is easy and satisfying to do the first thing, which gives me nausea at first, but later, makes my stomach feel like silk inside. I must get rid of the four corner, where walls meet floor, and the four corners where walls meet ceiling. I have to keep in mind, it must be something I can, even to my horrors, be able to return to its angular state –if I do not own a thing, and I do not own a space. So I must make pieces of wood or patch first to put into corners. This is not so easy, because I am inclined not to make straight or angular cuts, and must use a jib saw to make as curved and smooth shaped patches as possible, though for fit, it would make sense to go the shortest route, which is straight cuts that often reap 90 degree angles at the pieces’ ends. So, I jig and jag and cut how I must so as not to vomit or convulse and chop my fingers off. I fit the patches then on my rooftop into corner, and use glue to fix them in place. The I use joint compound, or plaster, to cover the angles that remain, which after the patches are in place, are usually near the threshold of about 160 degrees – and I smooth the angle out, packing in the maluable material and rounding with the palm of my hand or a cloth. This is done at four ceiling corners, and four floor corners. Then there is where the floor meets wall, all along the edge and where the walls meet ceiling all along the edge- this is a pretty quick process, when you have done it a few times. I use pieces of mold that fit right into the angle, and tack in at each end, it takes a few minutes, then run plaster along the edge of the molding topside and bottomside with a putty knife, hand or cloth – and let it dry – and I feel so much better – later I may trim it or smooth it a little more, if it still gives a hint at its original shape - . Objects are easier to deal with, because, I choose to find I place that is not furnished to live it, so I only introduce the few things I choose to own, or, leave empty as much as possible. Sometimes I have found in my various moves in different areas, that an empty space becomes offensive, as the vacuum of it allows the memory of all the exterior angles I know are out there- to enter my space. Especially in a particularly angular exterior environment – I can’t dismiss it, I know it is out there. So, I must introduce some smoothed objects into my dwelling to counteract that ugly outer world. Once I spent weeks packing sand into corners of where bricks came together in the walkway to a first floor apartment. People thought I was resetting the bricks, the other people in the building, and thought, what a nice new tenant, they didn’t realize I was getting rid of the 90 degree angles. I think, they noticed the walkway looked pretty weird to them when it was done. But, this was necessary at the time, it was too close to my front door and where I rested my shoes.

4.     Once I secure a place, and effectively seal it from the redirectional influence as much as possible, I can begin the deep calming of myself. I hope for long life, so I can have this satisfied feeling for longer. To take material, and make it longer and longer and longer, so that it never need to turn, not even in a smooth curve, that is what I dream at night, and I try to do this with my time. Best is to find the smallest increment, atomic if you will, or something elemental, small so it can barely be worked with. Best to have them themselves not containing the offending redirection, though all comtainable objects must turn in some direction so they have a terminal size - . So round things are best, little circles. Tiny beads are good. Maybe I start in one direction, gluing together, sometimes I try to put as many beads against each other as possible. Working small it is all good, I can feel the encroachment of the angle being far away from me. Then, as I expand, and expound the increase into all direction, in my desire to chase away the termination, I will create more little termination points where beads connect and end. I compel myself forward through this, but, it is not so easy when you must fight the urge to flee the scene, to run from the horrible presence.

5.     I have filled many spaces to the space termination points in every direction, using the smallest elements I can manage, beginning at the center of the room or space, I begin to heal or cure the room by freeing it and myself of the infinite nested termination points which is where things end and abut each other and most typically are manifest as the hated angle.  I fill the space – though as I said, I do have tendency to want to preserve conditions and property as others want it/ them when it is not owned by me, I do not wish to impose my will on others. So, the space is filled – it is… reversible – but, I will not do it, I will leave, and I am often sorry, but I am hoping others will understand someday, these things, I do because I have to, and I believe, it is not only for my good, but for the good of all, at some other time and place. I imagine, some will see what I do, and be inclined to leave what I have done, and come to desire this condition of compulsion too.

6.     I am inclined to open space now, I have strengthened my body so to be able to survive in the out of doors, and so, I go into the wilderness and try to fill it – nature forces fewer terminal points on my mind, but I know it is innate in structure, so it is present. I have a big work before me, out there. I expect less resistance, fewer difficulties finding the proper privacy to move forward with this. I go about the work of my maker now, who ever it was that made me so. I will make further reports when I need to stop from this, from exhaustion, or, when I find myself becoming comfortable, and can find peace. Writing it out proves therapeutic for me I think. It gives me a sense, that maybe I am other than what I am. – from the occasional autobiography of Mora